What's the proper reaction when satire becomes reality? Laughter is inappropriate. What's left? Pity?

"I started running in December and signed up for an 8K, but I can't find training plans for that distance."

"It has been a really humbling week for me. God silenced me in order to teach me a few things."

Isn't it possible that slow walking speed simply indicates poor aerobic fitness rather than "preclinical disease"?

Lauren Fleshman, circa 2000; the physics of ponytails; a free running-song download; and more.

"I was diagnosed with arthritis in both hips. I'm devastated and don't know what to expect for my running future."

No matter the angle of the story, if it's about running, some reader invariably pops in to sound the alarm.